Why I refuse to date an older man, Lifestyle News & Top Stories - The Straits Times
This is a discussion forum for older women and younger men and older men younger women. So Many (College) Girls I know Are Dating Older Men. Maybe it's because I live in a city college(DC), but so many girls are I know are having. These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again – even multiple times.
My dad was 65 when I was born. Are you the grandfather? When I was 35 it felt weird asking out a 25 year old. Many men get better with age. My girlfriend right now is 24, we have been together for a year. When she first told her parents about us, they were concerned, but after a while, she told me, that they saw how happy she was, not just with me but how a more mature outlook on life made her happier all around.
Men who take good care of themselves are better often in better shape at 35 and 45 than they were at Who can give the kids more mature and calm advice. Women have a biological window to have kids that ends fairly early, but men, in my opinion, tend to be better fathers later in life. American society would like to convince us that we should all date someone close to our own age, but the truth is age is just a number. The most important thing for me is whether we feel safe sharing how we feel; being raw with each other.
And we are connected by the ability to share those feelings. They have their own issues to deal with. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. I agree with you that many guys are in better shape later on in life. People just need to get over the stigma and their own limiting beliefs. Mark on July 2, What Avatar? Nick Notas on July 7, My bad, was on mobile and thinking of the another Mark who posts. Javier on July 2, Thanks for this post, Mark. Great points and insights.
Older men? Anyone dating/married to someone 10+ years older?
Alternatively, they might know my age already, and then withdraw at any hint of things becoming more ongoing or intimate. Maybe not for themselves, but for what their friends or family might think? Mark on July 3, Hi Javier, I think that you are exactly right that often women this age may feel that friends, family or society in general will not accept you as a couple.
This is one reason why famous older guys can get away with dating younger women much more easily. I think it shows insecurity. They all squirm a bit with discomfort. This goes for the reverse as well. For example, joking that my tie is as old as they are which is often true.
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I find some women love the maturity, confidence and things that we considered normal in our generation. Flowers, opening car doors, hand written cards with love notes inside. Often you can get an idea of which women are confident enough to go for what they want despite what friends and family think by susing out their views on other similar subjects. Please take a look at my modest blog.
My few post are just a few added prices of advice. Reply Joe on March 6, To overcome that issue I usually will take a girl out for drinks. Then when we are both sauced up i take her into a bathroom stall and whip it out. Whether or not you can take care of them very much IS.
I am 25 years old and I have always been attracted to older men. My ex-boyfriend is in his late 40s. It is not really about the age, it is all about preference. On second place, older men go crazy especially on dating sites, they want to make up for all the years they stayed married. This is my WORST story about dating an older man; I went out with a 51 year old man 3 months ago; he was gorgeous, intelligent, well-educated but he turned out to be the biggest liar I have ever known.
It was sickening, he would lie about everything. First, he said he was 48 and he was He said he lied about his age for fear of rejection. Second, he told me he was divorced, a month later, his wife called me, and told me about their problems, his infidelities, other women. This man had more secrets than the CIA. In fact, his wife made a conference call with all the women who he had been involved, the conclusion was he was not capable of being faithful to any of us.
I immediately went to get checked up, as it turned out we were infected with a STD. I would have given him another chance because I really like him. I love older men but it is almost impossible to find a MAN who is free of drama from their past, it is always fun and romantic at the beginning; but they have history and most of the times they are just repeating the same story over and over again. Reply Don on October 16, I am currently in an online relationship with a 38 year old lady. I am 68, but a young healthy 68 year old.
We are getting together later this month. We have had a lot of discussion about our age difference. She says consistently that age is just a number and if you are happy together, why not be together. We have a lot in common and ate going to go for it. Reply Nathan Deeley on July 3, What about younger men? Seymoure on July 4, Perhaps they want them for 45 min in bed nothing more Nick Notas on July 7, We all have our own preferences and some women happy to like younger men, too.
Many of the older women who desire younger men are for sexual purposes. They want to have an awesome sexual experience with. I obviously agree with Nick, to disagree would be denying what IS. Security and stability, which is over and above all the biggest motivator of women. Fact is in western countries Europe and America a man has to quite wealthy to be able to date younger women where as in Asia or Latin America you just need to have a job.
You act like its riding around on a bicycle. Reply Seymoure on July 6, Dear Sam, everything is relative. Reply Seymoure on July 9, Not at all Sam.
My fundamental point was women cannot help but to be attracted to security and stability and items and signals that suggest stability and security sure gets their attention.
You see my point? Just like you and I women notice them as well but unlike you and I their mind quickly extrapolates what they see with wealth, stability and the good life. Sam on July 9, Yea, I see what you mean.
It shows perceived social status which is attractive to women. Nick Notas on July 7, I disagree with your type of people theory — there are a lot more shades of grey in there. Most people are not black-and-white like that.
They may go after what they want in certain areas of their life, in certain situations, or with certain people. At many points in your life, you WILL look to or hesitate because of some external source for approval. Just look at the video of the guy with a Bugatti asking women straight out if they want to have sex with him. The more poverty you live in, the more important that security and status becomes.
But in places like the states and parts of Europe, you do NOT need to be wealthy at all to date hot girls. Some of the best guys I know with women are not traditionally attractive or wealthy.
Personality and confidence go a long way. Yes, a girl sleep and date a wealthy guy. But if you want to ever have a woman who truly desires you and has a deep emotional connection for the long-term, you need more than that. Seymoure on July 7, Agreed Nick. Reply Seymoure on July 4, It all comes down to what one brings to the table. The man brings safety, stability, security and ability to provide for the children and the woman brings youth, beauty and sex.
Dating Older Men
Then once you provide the security the other things such as your good looks, good sex, help with cleaning etc. Women can put up with the lack of bonuses if security is there but not the other way around. Reply Mark on July 4, These last two comments are very misleading in my experience. And are also phrased in a vrey one-sided way. Greed is a common human trait, which is easily participated in by both men and women.
Happiness is a much more universal goal, and there are many more ways that people persue it than a search for stability, influenced by biology. After a certain point the goal of just heaping up more and more wealth only interests those with a certain mindset.
Yes, we all want stability, and to not stress over being able to afford things that we want, or want to provide for our children, like a good education. Then whether you are a decent human being, passionate about something, and able to care for others becomes everything. There are billionaires who will go bankrupt this year.
His wife is a 10 by ANY standards. He will still be one of the most open, genuine and passionate people I have ever known. And it is clear why his wife loves him.
Wealth is not stability! If you think it is you are just kidding yourself. Actually most crime and murder is committed by the poor mostly amongst each other and the fastest way to help the needy is by not being one of them. Mark on July 8, Nope.
You completely misunderstood me. I dated recently with 22 year old girl — at first it was lots of fun, but after a couple of dates I got bored.
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Nick Notas on July 7, Hey Lithuanian, I generally find women women in their mid-to-upper twenties the most attractive, too. Ansshuman on July 13, Hey Nick, I am from India can you suggest some tips how to attract any women or seduce any women in Indian circumstances?
It is one of the things that I have struggled with. I am 43 and make the most connections with women that are Women my age would look at me with disdain, I even had one woman my age spread a bunch of rumors about me regarding this female. This deeply hurt me and I wondered if there was something wrong with me. This article got me to remember all my anthropology classes and this makes perfect sense. Women my age are kind of boring to me. I like to dance, love new music, technology etc.
But then I change tactics and organise a date with a fellow year-old. He waits in the garden of a Brooklyn bar while I get us two spicy margaritas.
When I come back, I ask him what he is looking for. I'm not in a rush. I imagine pouring my drink on it. I know I am not a fun first date.
I want to ask prospective partners whether they want to become parents and when - and excuse me? You have not given it much thought? A shrug from a man who already has a couple of grey hairs strikes me as wild arrogance.
This arrogance has, as I see it, two main causes - one, a belief that their spermatozoa are good for a very long time; and, two, a belief that they could get a younger woman. Your sperm is not immortal. A study that tracked 8, pregnancies found that "conception during a month period was 30 per cent less likely for men over age 40 as compared with men younger than age 30".
Men are much more fooled when it comes to that second belief - that they could get a younger woman if they wanted to. Dating site OkCupid's researchers found that most conversations take place between an older man and a younger woman and, in almost half of them, the age gap is at least five years. That same OkCupid data shows that even when men are in their late 40s, they carry on looking at the profiles of women aged 20 to Women, by contrast, look at older men's profiles as they get older.
Where do year-old men get this strange impression that they could date a year-old? Perhaps it is their TV screens. When New York magazine looked at the careers of 10 leading men, it found that as they aged, their onscreen love interests did not.
Take, for instance, Liam Neeson. Inhe appeared alongside Frances McDormand, who was five years younger than him. By the time he starred in Third Person inthe year-old's lover was played by year-old Olivia Wilde. I inspect my body when I step out of the shower and I can see the skin loosening above my knees.
I do not want to choose between being single and dating a much older man with much older knees. I think, maybe, I could deal with dying if the person I love is creaking along at the same rate I am. So, this is where I ask for help from other single women seeking men. Sign a pledge with me - let's end this scourge once and for all by committing to contemporaries.
I understand your reluctance.