Boy- Girl Relationships in Islam - Ask a Question to Us
Please know what I am going to say to you I say only because I love Islam and I care so very much about the future safety, happiness, and success in the lives of . Both husband and wife come into the Islamic marital relationship with the sincere intention and commitment of making the other person love of their life. What is more stable in Islam, a love marriage or an arranged But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as.
This is why even Sufi Muslims try not to be overwhelmed by love. The Sufi has no choice but to be vigilant, observant, and discerning, to put everything in its rightful place, and to give everything its due. It is in virtue of this perspective that Sufism is a way of knowledge rather than a way of love. As such it tends to repudiate partialities which the perspective of love necessarily condones and even encourages.
This superiority shows itself when the love for God and for His religion comes in conflict with one's love for one's personal belongings. In this case, a believer should be able to sacrifice his personal favourite things for the sake of God. For example, if God asks us to give our lives to protect innocent lives or our territorial integrity or the like, we should not let our love for the easy life or being with the family and so on prevent us from striving in His way.
Therefore, a believer is not the person who just loves God. A believer is the person whose love for God is the highest and strongest love he has. Elsewhere, the Qur'an says: Yet there are some people who adopt rivals instead of God, whom they love just as they should love God.
Those who believe are firmer in their love of God According to Islam, one reason for loving God lies in the fact that God is the most precious, the most perfect and the most beautiful being, that a man can ever conceive and therefore, man out of his nature that aspires to values, beauty and perfection loves God.
Many Islamic scholars, especially mystics have asserted that everybody feels in his heart a great love for God the Almighty without necessarily being aware of it.
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They argue that even unbelievers who are just after secular aims or ideals love and worship what they take to be the ultimate good.
For example, those who want to possess power want to have the ultimate power.
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They will never be satisfied by becoming a mayor or even president. Even if they could control the whole globe they would think about controlling other planets. Nothing in the world can set their hearts at rest. As soon as people reach what they had set up as their ideals, they realise that it is not sufficient and they will seek for more.
Islamic mystics, such as Ibn Arabi inspired by the Qur'an believe that the reason behind this phenomenon is that everybody in fact is seeking towards the ultimate good, that is, God.
Surely you strive to attain to your Lord, a hard striving until you meet Him. However, the fact is that many people make a mistake in recognising what is the highest good.
Some might take money as the highest good or, in other words, as their god. Others might take political power as their god, and so on. It is God who has manifested Himself in whatever is beloved for the eyes of those who love. There is no being except that it loves.
Thus, the whole universe loves and is loved and all these go back to Him just as nothing has ever been worshipped other than Him, since whatever a servant of God has ever worshipped has been because of wrong imagination of deity in it; otherwise it would have never been worshipped. God, the most High, says in the Qur'an: No one has ever loved anything other than his Creator. Layla, dunya this worldmoney, social position and all other beloved subjects in the universe. There is a rich literature in Islamic sources on different aspects and manifestations of God's love and favour for all human beings, including, in a sense, wrongdoers arid those who disbelieve in Him.
Human beings love whoever does good to them, and they appreciate such favour and benevolence and feel obliged to be thankful. Love God because He has done good to you and He has bestowed favours upon you. Then in response to their question how to endear Him to the people, God said: My God, The uninterrupted flow of Thy graciousness has distracted me from thanking Thee!
The flood of Thy bounty has rendered me incapable of counting Thy praises! The succession of Thy kind acts has diverted me from mentioning Thee in laudation! The continuous rush of Thy benefits has thwarted me from spreading the news of Thy gentle favours! My God, My thanksgiving is small before Thy great boons, and my praise and news spreading shrink beside Thy generosity toward me!
Thy favours have wrapped me in the robes of the lights of faith, and the gentlenesses of Thy goodness have let down over me delicate curtains of might! Thy favours are many my understanding falls short of grasping them, not to speak of exhausting them!
So how can I achieve thanksgiving? Having continued his journey and been equipped with a mystical view of the world, he will realise that every good thing, indeed, comes from God himself.
No, Allah has set the rules for right relationships between males and females because He knows for sure what is best for you as an individual and what is best for His Ummah. Allah wants you to have a good time and enjoy the wonderful pleasures of male-female relationships, including the sexual relationship, but He knows you can only experience the greatest joy, and suffer no harm, if you keep your relationships, particularly the sexual relationship, within the necessary guidelines of the right way of life He has given us.
Tough Times for Young Muslims As you read this message I ask you to keep an open mind until you evaluate everything I have to say. In all parts of our lives we must be sure that what we get is worth what we have to pay. In something so tempting as sexual pleasure there are few who objectively weigh the full costs against those brief moments of gratification. Allah has placed within both males and females an extremely strong desire to pair off as couples and eventually experience the full sexual relationship.
When we look at animal behaviour we see that animals take their sexual pleasure whenever and wherever they can. This is how Allah ensures the continued survival of their species. This special spiritual nature provides us with many wonderful benefits, but it also presents us with some very serious responsibilities. These benefits and responsibilities show up quite clearly in relation to the desire for sexual pleasure placed within us by Allah.
The benefit is that human beings can experience a level of sustained deep emotional bonding and sexual pleasure far beyond the ability of any animal, but the responsibility is to direct our sexual desires only in the manner set out as the right way of life for us by Allah. Sexual pleasure is only to be experienced between a man and woman married to each other; sometimes this is for the purpose of bringing new human spiritual beings into the world and sometimes it is to allow the ecstasy and the intimacy of the sexual relationship to bond the married man and woman together so strongly as a family, who will be able to raise a new generation of good and right Muslim children within that family, that they become invulnerable to the forces of evil that might attempt to tear the family unit apart.
First, what are the benefits? Some of those benefits result in the fulfillment of natural human desires, even if done wrongfully; but, some of those so-called benefits have been conditioned into your thinking against your will by the wrongful influences of the secular materialist society that exists outside the Muslim Ummah.
The Real Price of a Kiss Now let me list some of the costs of those early intimate and sometimes sexual relationships experienced before you are married and it all becomes lawful to you. Be honest in your judgment as you read of these costs and see if I am being fair and truthful with you in all that I say. We will start with one of the really ugly costs, disease. Promiscuity sleeping around can lead to a wide range of very nasty diseases. The effects of these diseases can go from simple pain and discomfort, to disfigurement, to other lifelong diseases such as cancer, to the inability to have children, and even to painful lingering death.
Weigh these facts highly as you make decisions about relationships before marriage. Another cost is divorce. In Islam it is expected a married couple will stay married forever and enjoy their family life till they die. This is the way Allah wants it to be for our greatest happiness. The reality is that couples who engage in sex before marriage are many times more likely to divorce. This is a sad cost, adultery. The more relationships you have before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage, and so is the person you marry.
No good marriage can tolerate adultery, adultery is certain to cause great unhappiness to the married couple and to destroy the good family life necessary for the development of a right society. But, isn't it logical that if you don't follow the rules about having sex before marriage that you are not very likely to follow the rules about having sex after marriage. Many young Muslim girls never expected such things as unwed motherhood, unwanted children, and abortion to enter their lives, but those terrible things do sometimes happen when you have wrong relationships; they happen much more often than anyone wants to admit.
Unwed pregnancy, how would you like to tell your parents about this one? Even worse, you would be bringing a child into the world and this child may be very unwanted, are you going to be able to care for this child and the sacred soul Allah has placed within that child?
Or what about an abortion, not only is that likely to be committing a great sin, but you would be killing a new human being growing within you.
Does it make you feel sad to think about this? It makes me sad. Here are some depressing statistics about suicide. Sexually active boys are more than twice as likely to have depression and almost ten times more likely to attempt suicide than boys who wait until marriage.
Teenage girls who have premarital sex are three times more likely to have depression than girls who aren't sexually active. Also, teenage girls who are sexually active are about three times more likely to attempt suicide than those who aren't sexually active. See what I mean about being depressing? What did you expect? By the way, know for sure what I am saying here applies to boys just as much as to girls.
Islam is about equality and boys and girls are most definitely equally responsible to keep themselves away from wrong relationships and pure for marriage.
So you only did it because you were totally sure you were going to marry him or her, so why wait. Some people believe that you have to have lots of practice to get good at sex and if you are not already good at sex before you marry you will have a second rate love life when married. Well, contrary to that popular belief, studies show those who do choose to wait for sex until marriage are not doomed to a second-class sex life at all. Instead they usually have significantly higher levels of sexual satisfaction and marital contentment.
I guess nothing is so romantic and erotic as having a marriage partner who has never experienced those most intimate moments with anyone but you. Seems reasonable to me!How to Love: Relationships in Islam - Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda
Well personally I trust the word of Allah not the opinion of some teen boy or girl with highly active hormones affecting their judgment. This is what Allah has to say about fornication the technically correct name for illegal sexual intercourse.
Well, I have to say that fun is most definitely not a good measure of what is right or wrong. No, of course he is going to make going against the Will of Allah seem like fun.
For those who are Muslim, he will attempt to turn them away from Allah. One method shaitan uses quite successfully is to make people feel unworthy because of the sin they committed to have fun. Once you feel unworthy of Allah it is much easier to turn away from Him. To prove that all sex is natural, they give examples of wild animals, like monkeys, who have all kinds of sex all over the place with no inhibitions.
They attempt to degrade human beings to the level of wild animals, and then justify their deeds by finding examples of free sexual behaviour in the animal world.
They are, in the Qur'anic expression, "like cattle, nay they are more astray; they are the heedless ones. One of the purposes of Islam is to establish that we are not animals, and to put us on the right path so that we will not behave like animals. Perhaps some people are influenced by what is relentlessly propagated by the media, movies and TV serials, day and night, thinking that a marriage will not be successful unless it is based on a pre-marital relationship between the young couple to achieve perfect harmony between them and secure a successful marital life.
Not only this, many people are also influenced by the call to intermixing between the two sexes, lewdness as well as many other moral deviations.
This leads to great corruption and grave crimes as well as the violation of sanctities and honor. I will not refute this allegation from this point of view, but through real studies and figures. According to the study, 88 percent of marriages which take place after a love affair end with failure, i.
In other words, the number of successful marriages in the so-called traditional marriage is six times more than love marriages. The study indicates beyond doubt that love or passion is not a guarantee for a successful marriage; rather, it often leads to failure. The alarming rates of divorce assert these facts. Commenting on this phenomenon, Professor Saul Gordon, a lecturer at the aforementioned University said, "When you are in love; to you the whole world revolves around this person whom you love.
Marriage then comes to prove the opposite and destroy all your perceptions.